VIDEO: Top 100 Things Not To Say To Your Teacher

August 25, 201322 Comments


As promised, here is the Top 100 video, chalk full of multiple things not to say to your teacher! This video was shot on location at YouTube Space LA and includes 11 other YouTubers in the video! This was definitely my biggest collaboration I’ve done to date and I’d like to thank everyone who was a part of this magical journey. Be sure to check out everyone’s page:

Jimmy Wong
Shot Science
Chris Crutchfield

How many YouTubers do you recognize?

Top 100 Things Not To Say To Your Teacher:
1) You’re wrong.
2) Who dresses you?
3) Did you forget your meds today?
4) I was listening. I just wasn’t paying attention.
5) When are you going to get a real job?
6) Your daughter’s pretty hot.
7) I don’t know what happened to you.
8) You smell like booze.
9) You got any on you?
10) Are you wearing a thong?
11) You know age is just a number.
12) When do we start sex ed?
13) Have you always been this lame?
14) Or is this just more recent?
15) You should really workout more.
16) Can you not tell any more jokes ever again? Just stop.
17) I thought you were banned from coming 50 feet within a school.
18) You’re a lot better looking than I remember.
19) You’re the guy from How To Catch A Predator!
20) How did you get this job?
21) Are budget cuts really that bad?
22) I can teach this class better than you.
23) I found it in the garbage.
24) I wasn’t texting. I was SnapChatting.
25) There’s a difference.
26) It must be great to sit around and play with kids all day.
27) You didn’t teach me anything. That’s why I failed.
28) You’re too old to understand.
29) Can you twerk?
30) Why does it take you so long to grade our tests?
31) I know you don’t have any friends.
32) Why’d you call on me? The Chinese guy’s right here!
33) Can I leave early?
34) Do you have any cigarettes?
35) I make more money than you do.
36) Do you even know what you’re doing?
37) Have you even read the textbook?
38) I haven’t.
39) You don’t know that.
40) That’s not right.
41) Honestly, I only took this class for the girls…
42) …definitely not the teacher.
43) Oh, so you know the answer?
No, I just need to take a dump.
44) Did you accept my friend request yet?
45) I know you denied me, but I thought this time maybe…
46) Hey, what are you doing after class?
47) Is it that time of month again?
48) Must come twice for you.
49) Can I get a two-month extension?
50) When did you decide to give up on your dreams and become a teacher?
51) You know, you don’t look that ugly today.
52) Surprising.
53) Oh, sorry…just hold on. Just let me finish this text.
54) I dare you to eat it.
55) *Burps*
56) Are you still talking?
57) I didn’t read the book.
58) I just used SparkNotes.
59) Where did your life go wrong?
60) Didn’t we just get matched on Tinder?
61) If this isn’t for a grade, why are we doing it?
62) If you’re not married now, it’s probably not going to happen.
63) I have a gun in my backpack. April Fools!
64) You’re attracted to me.
65) I was having such a nice nap.
66) Can you help me buy some alcohol?
67) Honestly, I don’t even have time for this!
68) You’re wife is pretty hot.
69) Are you a virgin?
70) I learn more from Wikipedia.
71) How disappointed were your parents when you told them you wanted to be a teacher?
72) I learn more from Google.
73) You ever hear that quote “Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach.”
74) I learn more from Yahoo and I don’t even use Yahoo!
75) I didn’t raise my hand.
76) Are you still talking? I haven’t been listening.
77) Could we get a 45 minute break…for two hours?
78) So are you married? Is it a guy?
79) When is lunch?
80) My parents pay your salary.
81) Do you have any gum?
82) How long til this class is over?
83) Oh, great. Yeah, just call on me cause I’m Asian. C’mon! Don’t any of you guys know the answer?
84) You’re having such a bad hair day.
85) When’s the last time you’ve been on a date?
86) It’s only plagiarism if you get caught.
87) Didn’t I see you on Christian Mingle?
88) What’s the least amount of work I can do and still pass?
89) Who do you think you are? You’re not the boss of me!
90) Oh, I just need to take this call. Hello?
91) Can we watch a movie today…and tomorrow…and the whole week?
92) This is the easiest class I’ve ever taken.
93) How is this relevant?
94) I just started this new diet program. You should really get on it.
95) You ever watch Breaking Bad? We can do that.
96) Do you have diabetes?
97) There’s a reason you’re a Ms. and not a Mrs.
98) Do you even lift?
99) You should just retire before you drop dead.
100) Is this going to be on the test?

What Top 100 video should I make next?
Tweet me suggestions at

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About the Author ()

Cameron "Scooter" Magruder is an actor, producer, and new media personality who creates weekly videos for his YouTube account ScooterMagruder. His videos have been featured on the Today Show, NBATV, The Huffington Post,, the Orlando Sentinel, and more. If you would like to contact Scooter Magruder, please navigate to the contact page.

Comments (22)

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  1. NickMac31 says:

    Hey Scooter, great vid and really enjoying your videos ever since I discovered your channel a couple months back. Quick question, do you deliver your shirts to the UK, as I would very much like to purchase one. Thanks and all the best!

  2. Jazz says:

    Could we get a 45 minute break…for two hours? Lol, I’m done. This video was gold, a great collab! P.S. every video I have dance to the outro.

  3. Nick says:

    What’s up Scooter? Nick here. Been watching your Cowboys this preseason? What has stuck out to you?

  4. Desmond says:

    What’s up scooter!! Your videos are funny dude! You should do a “Things Xbox fanboys say” or “things playstation fanboys say” that Would be a really good video 😀

  5. Vincent says:

    Hey scooter great work with the videos! Are you ever going to do the basketball game with Chris Smoove? I think that would be fun to watch.

  6. Laurie says:

    Hi Scooter!
    I found one of your top 100 by accident yesterday and now I’ve become obsessed with watching them all LOL! Absolutely love you and can’t wait to see what you do and where your talent takes you in the future. Good luck and Gos bless!

  7. Keidy says:

    I said 32 a couple of times, but there are no Chinese people in my class tho. But great video! you should do more collaboration videos!

  8. Elizabeth Torres says:

    ” Is this going to be on the test? ” I asked that about 30 times on my FIRST day of US history this semester lol. You are hilarious! It’d be so cool to hang out with you. Anyways you should make more Top 100 things.
    – Elizabeth

  9. Hey Adam! Glad you’re liking the videos…as far as the future, just be on the lookout for more Top 100s and a lot more sketch-based content coming your way!

  10. Adnan says:

    Try 100 things not to say to your boss? 😀

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