VIDEO: Top 100 Things NFL Fans Don’t Say

May 1, 20132 Comments


I already made Top 100 Things NBA Fans Don’t Say. You knew it was only a matter of time before I had to make Top 100 Things NFL Fans Don’t Say. And for those wondering who my favorite team is…THE DALLAS COWBOYS BABY! AMERICA’S TEAM!

This video was made in conjunction with former defensive lineman Anthony Adams. Adams has also appeared in Stuff Chicago Bears Fans Say.

Who is your favorite NFL team?

Top 100 Things NFL Fans Don’t Say List:
1) I can’t wait to rock these skinny jeans to the game.
2) Ray Lewis is so soft.
3) It’s probably going to be a rain delay, huh?
4) They have Basketball Wives right?
5) We need Football Wives!
6) Roger Goodell should fine more people!
7) He’s being too lenient.
8) I actually liked NFL Europa.
9) I bet the Redskins really regret trading up for RGIII now!
10) They should be starting Grossman anyways.
11) Don’t sleep on the Chiefs this year baby!
12) I sure hope they got some good salads there at that game.
13) I’m going to start my diet up #nextweekdoe.
14) Bill Belichick’s interviews they’re just so insightful!
15) There should absolutely be more penalties to protect offensive players!
16) $45.00 for parking? That ain’t bad!
17) What are you talking about? Everyone likes the Dallas Cowboys.
18) I sure hope they don’t serve beer.
19) I can watch the game, but I’d rather just keep refreshing it when it happens on my iPhone.
20) Hey, wake me up when the game goes off man.
21) I sure hope Destiny’s Child has a reunion at the Super Bowl.
22) We should get Roseanne to sing the next national anthem.
23) When it comes to ball security, look no further than Michael Vick.
24) Overtime? What’s going to happen with 60 minutes?
25) I wonder if they have a gluten-free menu at the game.
26) I wouldn’t say Ryan Leaf was a bust.
27) My fantasy first round pick? I’m probably got to go with a kicker.
28) I knew I shouldn’t have picked up Aaron Rodgers for fantasy.
29) I got to go to the bathroom dog. Y’all trying to go with me?
30) Concussions probably don’t even hurt that bad.
31) What are you talking about? Everyone likes the Patriots!
32) This game is too violent!
33) Troy Aikman and Joe Buck, they’re probably the two most dynamic announcers when you put them together!
34) Growing up I always wanted to be a punter.
35) $7.50 for a water? That ain’t bad!
36) I’m going to the game, but I’m going to leave at half-time.
37) Man, Golden Tate caught that ball!
38) So, you’re telling me the NFL actually stands for something? I thought it was just like…
…one of those…
…like it didn’t stand for anything…
…like NBA.
39) I go to the game strictly for the half-time entertainment.
40) Ed Hochuli looks small in that shirt!
41) This game is way too long man! The Voice is coming on tonight.
42) Only problem with Eli Manning is…he’s just really not clutch.
43) I just say get rid of all the cheerleaders in the game.
44) That last game was way too high scoring for me.
45) I like it when it’s like 3…6 points in a game.
46) I know this dude is not wearing the same outfit I have on!
47) Buffalo is for real this year!
48) Why would I get a hotdog here for a dollar, when I can get it for $15.00 dollars at the stadium?
49) I honestly think Tim Tebow will be a first-ballot hall of famer.
50) He is not wearing the same jersey I have on!
51) Sometimes I just wish I was as tall as Drew Brees…
52) …or even Darren Sproles.
53) Yeah girl, you know I love watching the game with you.
54) The Browns are taking it this year.
55) Cee Lo’s songs before the games be getting me so pumped up man!
56) All the deadbeat dads…they need to learn how to be more like Antonio Cromartie.
57) Hey, you think you can cut one of these games off?
58) Cut uhh TLC on…
59) …Say Yes to the Dress is coming on man.
60) It’s crazy.
61) It’s like a marathon.
62) It’s crazy. GoDaddy always has the best Super Bowl commercials.
63) Yes! Beyoncé is singing at the Super Bowl.
64) The Miami Dolphins could go undefeated again.
65) The Mike Carey mustache is tight work.
66) We need more preseason games!
67) Man, who’s winning the game? I can’t watch it right now. I have an intense game of Words With Friends going on.
68) Those throwback Steelers’ jerseys…amazing! They should wear those every game!
69) I want to watch this game, but I have to finish that Fifty Shades of Grey.
70) I bet it’s so easy being a Bengal’s fan.
71) I don’t even know why they call it football. I mean, the Europeans…that’s real football right there.
72) I think Vilma actually likes Roger Goodell, secretly of course.
73) It ain’t even that cold outside.
74) I just don’t understand why Peyton Manning doesn’t have any endorsement deals.
75) He should be on more commercials.
76) Skip Bayless makes a good point there.
77) Oww…Sunday? Go to the mall with you? I’m so down.
78) Why did they get rid of Denis Leary?
79) His knowledge of the game was just uncanny.
80) Nahh, nahh…I ain’t gotta watch the game on Sunday…I’d could just DVR it.
81) I’d rather spend time with you.
82) You know the Jacksonville Jaguars, they probably have the strongest fan base out of any of the teams in the NFL.
83) Hey, Double A, can you sign this for me? I want it in pencil though, so I know it’s real.
84) Albert Haynesworth was definitely worth the money!
85) I bet the Broncos wish they kept Tebow now!
86) Michael Strahan has a gap?
87) It totally makes sense that the Pro Bowl is played before the Super Bowl.
88) These tickets say Club Level. I wonder if they got a DJ.
89) Have you seen Drew Brees’s face? What is that right there? Is it lipstick?
90) These tickets I’m going to get from this ticket scalper are exclusive.
91) It’s just crazy because the Jets have two of the best quarterbacks in the game.
92) How do they even afford to pay them?
93) This stadium could use a fondue stand.
94) Tom Brady was a bust.
95) Man, I wonder if this ticket scalper accepts credit cards.
96) I just wish I could watch Brett Favre retire one more time.
97) I wonder if they have daycare at the stadium.
98) If we just had JaMarcus Russel!
99) You’re trying to watch The Perks of Being a Wallflower the same time the game starts? That’s perfect.
100) You know I’m not going to lie, the Bears made a great decision when they got rid of Anthony Adams. Woo. Woooo!

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About the Author ()

Cameron "Scooter" Magruder is an actor, producer, and new media personality who creates weekly videos for his YouTube account ScooterMagruder. His videos have been featured on the Today Show, NBATV, The Huffington Post,, the Orlando Sentinel, and more. If you would like to contact Scooter Magruder, please navigate to the contact page.

Comments (2)

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  1. Emaleigh says:

    I’m crying- I can’t pick my favorite video but this is in the running. As a partial Bengals fan, I appreciated the shout out too! As a female who actually likes (and understands) football, I know we are a rare breed yet it is better for the boys to watch the game without the women (they annoy me too- I get it). You should absolutely make a video about girls watching football. Or sports in general. Get girls to be in it so you don’t have to dress like a girl (although you rock the blond braid and cap)

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