VIDEO: Top 100 Things Not to Say During a Job Interview

January 22, 201521 Comments


Let me start this off by saying, this is my favorite video I’ve ever made, replacing Top 100 Things Not to Say to a Cop. Coincidentally, it was also the video that took the longest to edit. Probably because I decided to alter my outro…in addition to shooting a lot of coverage.

As far as logistics, I shot this video at Purple Rock Scissors, a digital agency that a couple of my friends work at, using some friends from my acting class. It did feel a little weird saying some of these lines, however, if you knew some of the things that went on during our acting class, this was nothing in comparison.

If I learned anything through this experience, it’s that filmmaking is truly about relationships and connections. This video alone is a testament to that. Having a solid location and actors does wonders for a video.

Let me know which number you thought was the funniest! And what Top 100 video should I make next?

UPDATE: This video was featured on RightThisMinute, head over to the press page to watch it!

Top 100 Things Not to Say During A Job Interview
1) Can we hurry this up? I got another interview I need to be at.
2) How much doI get paid?
3) What kind of benefits do we get here?
4) You guys don’t do background checks, do you? Let me know if you need me to explain anything.
Why did you leave your last job?
5) Oh, I didn’t leave. I was fired.
6) They wanted me to go to sensitivity training.
7) There weren’t enough attractive women…sorta like this interview.
8) Embezzlement.
How do you define success?
9) No STD’s
10) No children.
11) No commitment at all really.
12) By the amount of girls I slept with.
13) Not getting caught by the police.
14) Obviously, by how much I make.
15) Do you mind if my parole officer sits with us?
16) We both know you need black people at this company.
17) Do you mind if my mom sits with us? Mom! She said it’s ok. C’mon.
Describe yourself in one word.
18) Turn up.
19) Swag.
20) Yolo.
21) Yeet.
22) Sexist.
23) Unmotivated.
24) Lazy.
25) Basic.
26) #MustardOnTheBeat
27) The email said I needed to bring a resume. What is a resume? What is that?
Why do you want to work here?
28) Cause I’m broke.
29) My friend said it was easy cash!
30) I’m just trying to get with the receptionist. She’s like a 9.5…you wouldn’t know about that.
31) Oh, I don’t. I just have to act like I’m “searching” for a job for my unemployment check.
32) I don’t. My mom just threatened to kick me out.
33) I’m turning 26. I need health insurance.
34) I’m a little high right now. Hahahahaha!
Tell me a little about yourself.
35) Nah!
36) I don’t really like to stay at one job that long. I like to bounce around from place to place…
37) …sorta like your daughter.
38) I’m unemployed.
39) I’ve only been arrested 6 times…
40) I’m black
41) …wait 7.
42) I went to Taco Bell last night.
43) I’m single.
44) I’ve never killed anyone…
45) …yet.
46) Shouldn’t you be at home with your children?
47) You guys have a kitchen, right? Why aren’t you in it?
48) I’m not gonna lie. I had a couple of beers before coming here. It takes the edge off.
What are some of your weaknesses?
49) Cocaine.
50) Acid.
51) Underage females.
52) Responsibility.
53) Your mom.
54) Basic English grammar.
55) Big butts…I cannot lie.
56) Prescription pain medication.
57) Alchohol.
58) Marijuana
59) Being on time. You know I’m on black people time still…you know!
60) Women in business suits.
61) *Eyebrow raise*
62) *Consecutive eyebrow raise*
Discuss your resume.
63) It’s in Times New Roman…previously Arial…
64) …from an online template I got last night.
65) I just made most of this up.
What are some of your strengths?
66) Biceps.
67) I don’t have any.
68) My last boss said I was good at alienating people.
69) I can consume large amounts of alcohol.
70) I know Microsoft Word.
71) I can speak fluent Dothraki.
72) I’m really good at World of Warcraft…
73) …Call of Duty Black Ops 2.
74) Oh, I’m really good at Clash of Clans.
What do you see yourself doing in 5 years?
75) You!
76) Hopefully I’m not still here!
77) At a better job than this!
78) Smoking a lot of weed. Hopefully it’ll be legal by then. You know what I’m saying. You know what I’m saying.
79) Starting a rival competitor.
80) Leading the anarchist movement.
81) This place is like a stepping stone.
82) Hmm? Oh, sorry. I wasn’t paying attention.Do you have any questions for me?
83) No.
84) Honestly, I’ve never made it this far.
85) Can I work from home cause I’m actually on house arrest. I’m surprised it hasn’t gone off yet.
86) Can I get an advance today.
87) How much do you get paid?
88) You ever dated a younger guy?
89) Do you want to?
90) So are you the only douchebag that works here?
91) What’s the policy on sexual harassment around here? Cause my last job wasn’t too lenient.
92) How soon can I take vacation days?
93) When do I get a raise?
94) Wait, do you guys drug test?
95) How many times am I allowed to fail?
96) Didn’t we match onTinder?
97) How you heard my mixtape yet? I brought a couple copies.
98) So this place isn’t 500 feet within a school is it?
99) What’s the WiFi password
100) So, what exactly do you guys do here?

What Top 100 video should I make next?
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Filed in: Top 100

About the Author ()

Cameron "Scooter" Magruder is an actor, producer, and new media personality who creates weekly videos for his YouTube account ScooterMagruder. His videos have been featured on the Today Show, NBATV, The Huffington Post,, the Orlando Sentinel, and more. If you would like to contact Scooter Magruder, please navigate to the contact page.

Comments (21)

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  1. Jonathan Turnbull says:

    Scooter you uploaded !!!! I can sleep well tonight! Upload more. God Bless

  2. Brady Ogle says:

    Hey man great video your one of the best youtubers ever man love your videos I was just wondering who you thought was gonna win the Super Bowl who you would be cheering for and if you planned to make a video about the Super Bowl?

    • Thanks man! I really appreciate it! As far as the Super Bowl…I’m hoping the Seahawks can pull it off…mainly because of my dislike for Tom Brady and Bill Belicheck.

      Might be planning some Stuff Fans Say for the Super Bowl 🙂 who knows

      • Brady Ogle says:

        Cmon man why u hate Brady and Belichick haha and that would be cool I would love to see what you could come up with

        • They are CHEATERS!!! And I don’t know Brady has always just seemed soft to me…still might have to do a Stuff Patriots Fans Say though

          • Brady Ogle says:

            Man cmon everyone probably changes the footballs and but Brady is still a legend where would he rank on your greatest quarterbacks? And can u that would be cool?

          • “Everyone probably changes the footballs” -____-

            Brady is good, also a reason for my dislike. I don’t know about a list of the Top QB’s though…if I do something sports related it has to have broad appeal. We’ll see though!

  3. James Kamden says:

    You are literally my favorite youtuber ever. It annoys my friends but you won’t find one day that I don’t say “I’M A GROWN MAN.” or “DA HECK.” or “No jugamos juegos.”
    But yeah, you really bring light and humor to the darker days in life, so thank you!

  4. Brady Ogle says:

    It wouldn’t let me click reply anymore haha so I put it down here but yeah Brady especially if he gets this ring could wind up as the best ever with 4 rings and 6 times going and ok cool well I hope to see a stuff Patriots fans say or something about the Super Bowl soon man keep up the great work love your videos

  5. Andre Booth says:

    hey man love your videos, they always make me laugh! you inspire me, i want to start making youtube videos and im glad i found someone who has clean cut comedy.
    thanks for the inspiration man! stay up.

    • Hey Andre! Appreciate the support 🙂 You should definitely start making videos! Just know it takes some time to get to where you want to be. It took me a long time before I was happy with the content I was putting out. But you can get there!

  6. Rahul Menon says:

    Hey Scooter, this is definitely one of your best videos and entertaining as always!! I recently started my own youtube channel with some of my friends and we made our first video. It is supposed to be a comedic voice over. Do you think you could give me some feedback and/or tell me what you think?

    • It’s good man…you just gotta be careful with the copyright issues when using other people’s footage. That’s why you don’t see that much sports stuff on YouTube :/ Maybe ask people to leave a comment about what you should do next?

      • Rahul Menon says:

        Yeah, I am still investigating the logistics, so not sure about all of the laws. Me and my friends have a bunch of ideas for future content, but we do not know exactly what is and isn’t allowed. Thanks for the advice and we are definitely trying to fill the void of more sports related content in youtube.

  7. Brady Ogle says:

    Hey man well the Patriots and Brady did it what you think?

  8. Ali Stone says:

    Hey Scooter!

    This morning was the first time I saw your videos and I was lucky enough to see the Friend Zone one first which led me to the Top 100 Things to never say in a job interview. I almost choked laughing so hard at these two responses:
    68) My last boss said I was good at alienating people.

    71) I can speak fluent Dothraki.

    Truly hilarious – thanks for adding laughter to my day. I’m curious, what are your long term career goals? Do you want your videos to lead you somewhere specific like a latenight talk show? SNL? I make youtube vids too (400 views haha) and my dream is to be on SNL one day so I was just curious to see what motivates you to make your videos.

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