VIDEO: Top 100 Things Guys Never Want To Hear

September 22, 201320 Comments


This week I decided to come strong with another Top 100 video! The goal is to do a Top 100 video every other week until the end of the year! I definitely plan on doing Top 100 Things Not To Say To Your Parents soon, but what else should I make?

I definitely have to give a huge shoutout to my sister for helping me shoot this whole video and dressing me like a female, although I think she enjoyed it. I’m not even going to lie, this may be the last time I dress up like a girl in a video. I’m getting entirely to good at it…and that is not OK. Also, dressing like a girl in public can get pretty weird really quick. For example, there was a Asian family swimming by the pool when we decided to film there…it was interesting to say the least.

UPDATE: 10/4/13 This video aired on the Today Show! Watch now here:

What are some other things guys never want to hear?

Top 100 Things Guys Never Want To Hear:
1) You’re like my best friend.
2) I still live with my ex.
3) I don’t think I’m going to wear makeup anymore.
4) You’re not gay? Really?
5) Do you have any hot friends?
6) Have you seen my birth control? I haven’t taken that in weeks!
7) Honey the Bachelor’s on!
8) Can you help me move next Saturday?
9) Do you want to watch The Notebook again?
10) Can you believe my last boyfriend put a restraining order on me?
11) You want to go shopping with me?
12) I feel like you don’t even know me.
13) Are you done yet?
14) We should get matching tattoos!
15) He’s kinda hot.
16) You think you could hook me up with him?
17) You’re not even listening to me.
18) What did I just say?
19) I think we should make a joint Facebook account.
20) I was born a man.
21) We should get colonics!
22) People in this country bathe too much.
23) I haven’t showered in a week.
24) I know we just met, but do you want to meet my parents tonight?
25) I think I broke your Xbox.
26) I’m not really in the mood tonight.
27) Can we just cuddle?
28) Do you know what today is?
29) Hey buddy.
30) I think I broke your GameStation…or whatever it’s called.
31) I’ve only slept with 47 guys.
32) I think you’re getting man boobs.
33) Umm…we can watch the game later.
34) House Hunters is on.
35) You made me realize I’m lesbian.
36) Technically, I’m still married…
37) …but I mean…who really cares about that stuff anyways.
38) Do you think she’s pretty?
39) Is she prettier than me?
40) If we broke up, would we still be friends?
41) I just don’t like watching football.
42) Are we official?
43) I know we just met, but I think I love you.
44) What do you like about me?
45) We should go on a diet together!
46) I don’t want to do this anymore.
47) Did you ever have abs?
48) You look a lot like my ex-boyfriend.
49) I think my parents are home.
50) I think I’m constipated.
51) Woo! I’m so glad I had that sex change operation.
52) You want to go shopping with me?
53) I don’t date guys shorter than me.
54) I’m on my period.
55) You want to come rub my belly?
56) I think my boyfriend’s home.
57) Eww. I don’t date younger guys.
58) I think my husband’s home.
59) Yeah, I don’t really know how to cook.
60) I mean, I can cook like…Pop-tarts.
61) You’re not bad-looking.
62) I wouldn’t say you’re good looking though…you know what I mean?
63) Guys should not be playing video games.
64) Grow up.
65) If we get married, I’m keeping my last name.
66) You left your email open last night.
67) You should take my last name!
68) Where have you been?
69) Do these look like herpes to you?
70) *Burp*
71) I’m actually really close with my ex.
72) Are you going bald?
73) No, it’s ok. I can drive the rest of the way.
74) You want to go to the opera tomorrow?
75) Notice anything different today?
76) I’ve had better.
77) The doctor said they weren’t contagious.
78) Is it supposed to be green?
79) I went through your Facebook messages.
80) I have four children, but two of them have the same dad.
81) I’m really gassy. Sorry!
82) Must be that Chipotle.
83) I just don’t want to ruin our friendship by dating.
84) I’m pregnant…it’s not yours.
85) We’re going to be BFF’s forever!
86) That’s it?
87) Can you go to the store and buy me some tampons, please?
88) What did you call me? That’s not my name.
89) Does it bother you that I make more money than you?
90) I have a date tonight. What should I wear?
91) Maybe we should date other people.
92) Awww. You’re so cute.
93) So like…what are we?
94) You know I’m thinking of cutting my hair really short.
95) Is your brother single?
96) Do I look fat? Be honest.
97) Who are you texting?
98) I’m not really over 18.
99) I figured out the password to your phone.
100) We need to talk.

What Top 100 video should I make next?
Tweet me suggestions at

Filed in: Top 100

About the Author ()

Cameron "Scooter" Magruder is an actor, producer, and new media personality who creates weekly videos for his YouTube account ScooterMagruder. His videos have been featured on the Today Show, NBATV, The Huffington Post,, the Orlando Sentinel, and more. If you would like to contact Scooter Magruder, please navigate to the contact page.

Comments (20)

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  1. Jazz says:

    Hey Scooter, Nice vid. #55 was funny, I know a lot of my girl friends put guys in tight spots where they can’t seem to catch a break. Smh. You should do a top 100 break up reasons or top 100 YouTubers video. P.S. you’re looking 2 thick in that sun dress XD (I’m kidding..maybe)

    • Hey Jazz, I’m glad you liked the video! And thanks for the suggestion…I plan on doing Top 100 Ways to Break Up With Someone in the near future

      P.S. I’m a little worried you think I look “thick in that sun dress” (I’m kidding…but not really)

  2. Neil says:

    100 is always the funniest!

  3. Paul Kim says:

    Hey scooter! funny vid. Maybe do a Top 100 things not to say to your boss next? (or Top 100 excuses not to go to work?) lol but anyway, on your last video blog post, I commented to maybe check out my videos, and you actually left a comment on my video! That definitely made my day. I just wanted to say thanks for going the extra step to connect with your fans! It really meant a lot! Well I’m ranting now.. but looking forward to your next video!

    • Hey Paul, Top 100 Things Not To Say To Your Boss is a great suggestion…just gotta find a legit location to add that production value! And no worries man, that video was really well done! Keep making videos, you’ll only get better!

  4. rafael says:

    Great work bro your supper funny you should have added hey wanna watch the note book anyway you find ways to communicate with your fans btw love your work keep it up

  5. Stephen Macaluso says:

    Scoottterr!! 🙂
    I love your videos man they are all awesome! I was just wondering, were you planning on doing any more Magruder Mobile’s in the near future, especially at UCF? I just started school there and would love to get to meet you and possibly ve in one of your videos! 😀

    • Hey Stephen! WHATUPPPPPP

      So I decided not to continue that series at least for the time being 🙁 but I’ll probably have some meet-ups at some colleges in the near future! I’m at UCF randomly sometimes so definitely watch be on the lookout on my s=”” title=”Scooter Magruder’s Twitter”>Twitter!

  6. Corey says:

    Hay Scooter Im a huge fan of ur vids and I dont want to sound desperate but can you please check out my instagram? Im not asking for a shoutout or anything but I have some cool graphic design work on there and its really cool! Thanks @flyhighdesign

  7. Renee says:

    Hey Scooter,

    So, #93 is a good one… but sometimes this question has to be asked. I mean, you men-folk (I recognize women-folk can also be this way) can be confusing and sometimes we have to ask. However, I wouldn’t necessarily ask that way. Maybe I would just say, so, are we exclusive or friends?? I guess that goes back to your 3-date, girlfriend rule. What would guys like to hear instead?

    Side note: Will you marry me? I could settle for a date.

  8. Nick says:

    Hey Scooter. Nick here. Sorry for the late comment.

    I miss your Stuff Fans Say videos.

  9. Jarrad says:

    Top 100 – Things You Shouldn’t Say in a Job Interview

  10. Hunter Shanks says:

    Hey Scooter I’m a huge fan of your
    Videos especially the top 100 videos and was wondering what topic you had planned next and also wondering if you had any tips on getting discovered

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